For many women navigating midlife and the emotional terrain of menopause, the word love starts to take on a new meaning.

It’s not just about romantic relationships or the fairytales we were fed as girls.

It’s something deeper. Wilder. And, honestly, more honest.

This past stretch of the road has been powerful and sacred.

Leaving the Pacific Northwest behind, my dog Olivia and I traveled from the high desert of Bend, Oregon, to the misty edges of the Oregon Coast—where full moon rises over the mighty Pacific made my heart beat really freaking loud.

Now, I’m here in Santa Cruz, soaking up salty air, deepening into this new version of me…

One that’s asking bold, soulful questions in this season of midlife reinvention.

The Question That Found Me

It started as a whisper before a recent plant medicine ceremony.

A gentle nudge that kept tapping on my heart:

What does love mean? 

Not the Disney version where Prince Charming saves the woman and they ride off into happily ever after.

Not the dopamine high of new romance.

Not the “if you make it past the first 2 years of marriage, you’re golden” version I was taught growing up.

But love at the soul level.

The kind that vibrates in your bones.

That softens your shame.

That holds your shadows and your light.

As a woman in midlife—navigating a season of emotional rebirth, physical shifts, and redefinition—this question cracked me wide open.

Cracked Open by Ceremony

My plant medicine ceremony revealed how much of my life had been shaped by “shoulds” and seeking approval outside of myself.

So I started asking others—friends, lovers, mentors, soul family:

• One woman said love feels like coming home to herself. 
• One man shared that love is no longer hiding the parts we think are unworthy. 
• Another dear soul whispered: Love is full-body presence. 

Each reflection hit me like poetry.

Simple. Sacred. Real.

Not filtered. Not perfect.

Just honest.

And then my medicine woman shared this wisdom:

“The soul’s pure vibration of love moves through every experience, even when we are caught in the story or the struggle.

The divine keeps moving through it all.

The vibration of love never stops flowing.” 

Yes. Yes. Yes.

From Air Supply to Embodied Truth

As a Gen X woman raised on 80s love ballads and filtered-through-fantasy love stories, I used to think love was what Air Supply sang about:

“I’m all out of love, I’m so lost without you…” 

But now I wonder…

What if love isn’t about being completed by someone else…

…but about returning home to ourselves?

Three weeks post-ceremony, I’m still being shown new layers of what this frequency means—especially in this season of menopause and midlife.

Where I once sought love through being good, pleasing others, and checking the boxes…

…I’m now redefining it through presence, self-trust, and sacred simplicity.

So, I Want to Ask You:

What does love mean to you, in this chapter of your life? 

For me, love now lives in the tiniest sacred moments:

🌿 In the way Olivia eye gazes into my soul

🌿 In the whispers of trees when I walk barefoot through the forest

🌿 In the sacred pause before I choose me—again and again

🌿 In the relationships that see both my bigness and my softness

Maybe, just maybe, love in midlife isn’t about finding someone else.

Maybe it’s about finally finding yourself—and falling madly, wildly, tenderly in love with her. 

💌 Your Invitation

If your heart whispered something back as you read this…

✨ I’d love to hear. 

You can drop a comment below, hit reply, or send me a voice message on social.

Let’s keep this soul-led conversation flowing—because whether you’re navigating menopause, reinvention, or the ache to feel something deeper…

You’re not alone in this sacred becoming.

With love from the road (and a heart still unraveling),

Victoria & Olivia 💟